Appreciation

Do you appreciate the people around you? I mean honestly appreciate them. If you do, do you let them know?
The second chapter in ‘How to Win Friends and Influnce People’ by Dale Carnegie is about just that. He tells from Dr. Dewey, one of America’s most profound philosophers, the the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’ He then lists off the 8 needs people want most, they are;
1. Health
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. Money
5. Life in the hereafter
6. Sexual gratification
7. Well-being of our children and
8. A feeling of importance.
Abraham Lincoln once said ‘everybody likes a compliment. ‘
I could go on and on about all the different references in the past and present that he uses in the book. But if you just look around you can see this world is starved for appreciation and the need to feel important. I know for me My love language is ‘words of affirmation’ as described in the book ‘The Five Love Languages’. I thrive on affirmig words. As not every one is this love language, in some way shape or form EVERYONE craves this feeling. If you can make it a point to express to eveyone you meet or pass at least one thing that you appreciate about them, you will make their day. When someone does that for me, my confidence increases, my shoulders feel lighter, my heart feels happier, I just all around feel better about myself and more wanting to help others. Can you imagin a world if everyone made a point to do this every chance they got? There would be less depression, less bullying, less low self esteem. All in all you would help a lot of people have a better life, because it would be a domino effect. Lets make a pack, or a vow, that we will help someone else have a better day by letting then know we truly appreciate them. Make sure it’s honest too. Not just flattery, a true sincere appreciation. I believe if we all can do this, you will see the effect not only in your life, but those around you. Your community, your city, your state, your country, and who knows… Maybe even the world.

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Criticizm, the death gargle of a non-achiever.

I recently read the first chapter of a book by Dale Carnegie titled ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. In his first chapter he talks about the first fundamental technique in dealing with people. That technique will help you become more successful in anything you do involving people. The art of not criticizing. Why? Because we are emotional creatures. No one likes to be criticized. When someone points blame at you or tells you what you’re doing wrong it is an emotional feeling of an attack on you. What is your natural reaction when being attacked? You protect yourself and fight back. It is the same with words, when someone comes after you, you defend yourself. The best way to do this? By pointing the finger at someone else, take the blame off you and throw it at another. That is how I thought before reading this chapter and many others relating to this topic. While working on growing myself as a leader in my own life, I’ve learned that to be a leader you actually never criticize someone. In this first chapter Dale tells the story about a father finally realizing what he’s doing to his son. All day his father criticizes his son, he spilt things at breakfast, gulped down his food, elbows on the table, etc. However, at the end of the day that little boy came to his father gave him a big hug and kiss then ran off to bed. It was then this father realized instead of finding fault that he had made habit, but to encourage his son to be a boy, and not have adult expectations. What I pulled from this story is we all learn to find fault in people, to make ourselves feel better. But what I learned from Dale, along with my LIFE mentors, “God himself,sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days. why should you and I?”
So as you live your life, everyday notice the good in people. Don’t find fault in everything they do, yet lift up the good. Not only does that make them feel good, but you will also feel good.
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

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Rock bottom

Hello to all my readers! Yes it’s been quite a while. It’s amazing to me how much the 95% world can influence you. It seems small at first, thought here, action there. But then it all of a sudden spirals out of control and you find yourself back to your old habits. The whole way you tell yourself ‘I’ll be fine, I wont slip, I’m stronger than my urges. ‘ then you find yourself slipping, down the slippery sloap back to the 95% world. And you begin to feel trapped, unworthy again of success. You feel the journey to the top is a far reached goal that is extremly unattainable, and even if it was, there’s no way YOU can do it. And the worst part? You KNOW what you need to do to get out, and you KNOW there’s no other way, but you just can’t find it in you to start again.

I’m here to tell you I know exactly how you feel. Why? How? Because thats where I am right now. As you read from the last post, I’ve had some pretty major family circumstances. I’ve had a lot more happen since, my dad again, my mom… All things that would knock people out. And I let it. What have I learned from all this? Were all humans, we all make mistakes-no one’s perfect, we all have ups and downs. But what matters is that we get back up and keep fighting. There’s a song out there, I forget the name of it but it has lyrics that state this; ‘I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gunna keep me down.’ I always say that to myself because I know its not the defete that wins, it’s the victory in the defete that leads you to learned moments and back on track. We have to take our defetes and show them we will win. We are worth it. And we truly believe it. And when you can do that, no matter how many times you get knocked down, you get back up-EVERY TIME, you will get to your victory.
So remember, it’s ok to fail. It’s ok to be in a valley. But it’s not ok to loose. So pray, get back up and keep fighting your fight. And we will all rise above to greatness.
All the glory goes to God.

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LIFE

It’s amazing to me how certain things in life can totally derail you from your ‘life’. For me, I was fortunate enough to expierience a string of these events in the past 5 months.
In February, the job I currently had wasn’t producing enough to keep me afloat. So when given a different opportunity that had the potential for more, naturally, I jumped at the chance. At first it was great! But then we were expieriencing a decline. We all kept saying it would get better as the weather cleared, or ‘it’s Tuesday, a slow day’, or any excuse to make us feel better. Unfortunatly it never turned around, and I kept going more and more into debt. It was to the point I had many creditors calling me and threatening to take me to collections and some even did. This weight caused a lot of stress in my life. Then to help me hit rock bottom, we found out my dad needed open heart surgery. Words noone wants to hear. Hence began the next obsticle. In May my whole family traveled down to the number 1 dr at the number 1 hospital for heart surgery. After what seemed like the longest day, my dad came out with flying colors! Then on top of that, I started my 7th season of teaching high school drumline. A few weeks after i brought my parents home from the hospital I came down with some infection… dizzy, temp, cough, inflammed and infected throat/toncils… Yup I was sick. The bad part? I still live with my parents. My dad, just undergoing major heart surgery where they cut open his whole chest, cannot get sick. Leave it to me to get my dad sick. Mom took him to urgent care where they immediatly ambulanced him to the hospital. There they told him he had a virus (from me) and had to stay a few days. He’s home now doing amazingly well ūüôā
While being there for my family in their time of need, I also began a relationship with the man I will marry. I have been building not only my relationship with him, but his daughter, my future daughter. As I am completly in love with both of them it takes a lot of time to build any relationship. It doesn’t help that they live an hour away.
I have also not been as active in my leadership. It has been painful not going out there and helping people as i used to. But I know I will get back in the game soon. In the words of my man, ‘You’re too good to not do it’. I know with his support and the support of my team, anything is possible.
Without giving to much detail, you can see God has thrown a lot of obsticales in my path. He knows i can handle it, but its not easy. In talking with my best friend and life mentor Larry Allswede, Ive come to realize that it might not be God throwing these obsticales my way, but the devil trying to detur me from His grace. What I realize in these times is ‘I can do all things through Christ, who stregthens me.’ Phillipians 4:13. What this means to me is that alone, things in life and life itself will be tough. But WITH God, anything is possible.
So even though I feel like Ive been ripped out of my life, I know that God is walking with me, leading the way. He will help me get back to ‘normal’ or I should say balance.
I am really thankful and blessed to have such amazing family and TEAM members. When I have fallen, they step up and help in a time of need. Its great to have people in your life who are there for you no matter what. To lift you up when youre down. But the most important part, when you find yourself ‘at the bottom of the barrel’, or ‘between a rock and a hard place’ remember this, ask and He will be there. Let Him into your heart and He will guide you.
Thanks!

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Visualization

So many times, I talk to people who think they understand what visualization is.¬† However, most of the time what they didn’t know was how deep you truley have to go with visualization to open up the power it can create.¬† Let me draw a picture for you of what I mean by having a vision of where you want to go. ¬†I want you to relax your brain as you read this last part, and let your mind go off imagining what I describe… ¬†this will show you how powerful visualization truly is…

You are sitting at your kitchen table reading a book.  You then realize you are hungry, so you look up, still holding your book upright and think to yourself what you want to eat.  You pause for a moment and then decide to go to the refrigerator to see what is inside.  You use your body to push your chair out as you slide your bookmark into your book and close it with both hands.  You set your book down on the table and proceed to walk over to the refrigerator.  You take your right hand up and grab onto the handle of the refrigerator, pull open the door and look around inside.  You see the milk and the ketchup alongside the butter and jelly.  You also see the left overs from last nights dinner sitting next to your juice.  Then you spot them.  Thats it, exactly what you are craving.  You pull open the drawer and wrap your hand around the small, oval shaped food.  As you pick it up you notice the color, a bright yellow as if the sun were shinning through the peal.  You take it over to the cutting board and grab your knife.  With one hand you grab the fruit and cut with the other hand into slices. The pieces fall to the counter as you put your knife down.  You pick up a slice and notice how juicy it looks, as you bring the fruit to your mouth you then take a big bite into the heart of the fruit.

Let me ask you this… do you know what you just took a bite of? What happened to your mouth as you visualized taking a bit into that lemon? ¬†It’s absolutely amazing what can happen when you first visualize.

Orrin Woodward has taught many times the value of visuialization.¬† He uses the example of a basketball team they did a study on.¬† There were 3 teams researched, one that practiced as normal, one that never practiced, and one the didn’t practice physically but they visualized practice everyday.¬† When it came to game time, of course the team who did not practice at all was the worst team.¬† But, when the normal practice routine team, and the visualization team played, they had the same skill sets.¬† Both teams were very comparable.¬†¬† Why is that? Orrin Woodward talks about the power of the elephant in your mind, please refer to his cd ‘The Ant and the Elephant’ from the LIFE site.¬† This cd talks about how we all have deep down in our minds a place where what we vision, what we picture in our minds, seems like real life.¬† His example on the cd is when you go see a sad movie, where the main character dies, the whole audience is in tears ‘NO! why did johnny have to die?! he was such a great guy! he doesn’t deseerve to die!” Yet in the previews before that movie was a trailor for his new movie coming out next month.¬† Even though we KNOW Johnny isn’t really dead, our minds think he is and we get emotional about it.

These are just a few examples of really grabbing onto the power of visualization. Now take that, and apply it to your everyday life.¬† If you can visualize where you want to go in life, or what you want, your brain will figure out how to get it.¬† This principle is taught more in depth throught the LIFE LLR subscription.¬† I highly recommend digging deeper into this princple and making it work for you, in your life.¬† It’s amazing what a little act, like visualizing your future everyday, can do to get you your dreams and goal.

What are you visualizing every day? anyone feel free to share what you do to visualize… I know some friends like to listen to meditaion music when they visualize, I know some like to sit in complete silence.¬† Or some visualize when they get up, or some just before bed.¬† When is your favorite time to connect with your elephant? I’d love to hear your stories!

God Bless everyone!

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Devils Work

It‚Äôs amazing how in tune the devil is with each and every one of us.¬† How he knows exactly what our weak points are and how to exaggerate them to hurt us.¬† Every time my life begins to turn closer and closer to my chosen path with God, the devil begins to work against me.¬† There‚Äôs a scripture that my best friend and LIFE mentor Larry Allswede read to me last week that I‚Äôd like to share.¬† Proverbs 20:24 says in the NIV version ‚ÄúA person‚Äôs steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?‚Ä̬† To me what I pulled from this scripture is that we all have a chosen path that the Lord is leading us down.¬† And we must have faith in Him that our path is the correct path.¬† We must not resist Him, even though we might not understand His reasoning behind that path.¬† I quote this specific scripture because I truly believe that the Devil tries to put that fear and worry in my head anytime the Lord tells me to follow Him. I have to have that blind faith to walk in faith with the Lord and to ignore what the devil is putting into my head because he is trying to push me off my path that the Lord has set before me. ¬†My LIFE mentor Holger Spiewak always reminds me of this scripture, Romans 8:31 says “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”. I tell myself that every time I run into the devils work.¬† God is stronger than the devil, so if we have God on our side, the devil has no chance! The only way he can win is if we begin to doubt God, and that is what the devil wants.¬† I need to tell myself as soon as the doubt sets in, ‚ÄúSTOP, that‚Äôs the devil thinking‚ÄĚ and reset my mind to God, and His strength.¬† With Him beside me, leading the way, no one can stop me.¬† ¬†I thank you to Larry and Holger for helping me walk in faith and find His path again.

That being said, I know that reading is a subject the devil knows as my achilles tendon.  BUT, I will not give up; I will keep fighting the Devil, because I KNOW this is the path that my Lord is leading me down.  I can tell, because the devil is pressing hard, but my Lord is stronger, and He is on my side.

My point behind this post, as my readers I hope I can relate to even one of you, is never give up.¬† You have a dream, or a goal, or something you are pushing for. I know the devil will push against that, he will make achieving that goal harder then you ever imagined. I live that every single day.¬† I believe we all do, even if we don’t realize it, the devil knows how to get to us.¬† WE have to chose to be stronger then that and listen to our Lord.¬† He is the way around the devil.¬† He will be our guiding light in the darkness.¬† I chose to follow His word, do you?

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How I Raised Myself part 1

Hello every one! How was your Christmas and New Year? Mine was amazing! Definetly the best yet! God has blessed me with many amazing people in my life and I can’t wait for a great 2012!

One of the things I’ve learned through the LIFE principles is many people commit to starting, yet so few actually finish. ¬†While mentoring with Holger Spiewak and Larry Allswede, I’ve seen this first hand. ¬†I even found myself several times ‘slow down’ or even come to a halt for a while. ¬†Thanks to the great system with TEAM, I have been able to keep myself from that statistic being known as a starter and not a finisher. ¬†Although we are only humans, and we all make mistakes, it doesn’t matter that you make a committment. ¬†Yes you DO have to make a committment. ¬†It is vital in being successful. ¬†But what matters more, is that you become a finisher, as Orrin Woodward calls it. ¬†Here is my continued journey in being not only a starter, but a finisher in my goals.

‘How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling’ by Frank Bettger.

This is probably one of my favorite Top 5 books in the LIFE materials.¬† Many times when I recommend this book to someone, their immediate response is something like ‘I don’t want to sell’ or ‘Im already great at selling, I don’t need to read this’.¬†¬† In my head a chuckel a little, but assure them there is a lot more to this book than what the title suggests.¬† You can take the information learned fro m this book into anything you do in life.¬† It basically teaches you how to deal with people, and helping them understand how you think.

So lets take a look at Part 1.  The chapters in this section are;

1. How one idea multiplied my income and happiness

2. This idea put me back into selling after I had quit

3. One thing I did that helped me destroy the biggest enemy I ever had to face

4. The only way I could get myself organized

In the first chapter Frank talks about how he was first a baseball player in Pennsylvania, where he was fired for not having enough enthusiasm.¬† Instead of taking that and ‘pouting’ like most 95%ers do, he chose to take that advice and grow.¬† He then became one of the most enthusiastic ball players.¬† how did he do this? This is probably one of my favorite lessons from this book.¬† Frank said to be enthusiastic you must first ACT enthusiastic. ¬†He said even if you don’t feel like it, force yourself. ¬†Enthusiasm is the highest paid quality on earth! ¬†He said it is the rarest, yet most contagious. ¬†Frank said, you will live a happier life when you learn how to be enthusiastic.

The second part talked about the act of action. ¬†I love the quote he uses “you can’t hit them if you don’t swing at them’. ¬†It reminds me of the quote Holger uses all the time from Wayne Gretsky, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. ¬†I think this chapter is to the point- if you take no action, results wont happen. ¬†The parallel of this to the TEAM is great, if you sit on your couch all day, your community will not grow! You have to get up and DO something!

In this next chapter, Frank talks about the subject I had the biggest challenge with, fear. ¬†I was in constant fear of what others would think of me. ¬†Frank teaches that the only way to overcome your fears, is to find the courage and self-confidence to do it anyways. ¬†He recommended joining a public speaking course, which is absolutely my biggest fear! ¬†Orrin’s friend Art Williams is famous for this quote, “You just do it”.

The final chapter we are going to discuss this week was about getting things done. ¬†Setting your priorities and ‘checking them off your list’. ¬†Frank teaches to actually take the time, to plan your schedule. ¬†This was all new to me before TEAM. ¬†I would just, do what came to my head. ¬†Through the principles I learned reading this book and listening to my mentors, I learned that I had to schedule my priorities in order of importance. ¬†If I did all the small things that didn’t matter much first, I found myself forgetting, or not getting to the items that were important to get done at that moment.

I had a blast reading these first chapters, but what I am more excited about it to hear your thoughts and what you learned from them! so type away and until next time… chapters 5-9.

Not sure what to respond with? How about answering this question; what was the biggest thing you took from this reading?

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